I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
