so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I will pee on everything he values.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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