ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
