Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
