Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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