yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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