Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
