i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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