sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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