my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
