I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Found the puke drawer
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
