ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
smell my finger.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize