Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize