when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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