About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
