Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
