He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
