They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
