imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
