I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
