i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
