sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
