margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
