He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize