he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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