is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
