Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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