She is in my trunk
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
