If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
