Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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