We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
