I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
