Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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