Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize