im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
