his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
