Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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