Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
