im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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