Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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