Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
