just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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