Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
