Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
