three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
