idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
