operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
