It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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