I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
