Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
