I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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