I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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