if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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