i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
