i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
