His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize