I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
