Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
