So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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