everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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